WEEK 46 DAAN/MUZHA: I shower 4 times in one day and God and I have an uneasy truce with rain...

What's up guys????????? Guess what!!! I am using a Bluetooth keyboard today! Which means that I can type for a loooooong time and my fingers won't get as tired. Hopefully it also means that my spelling and grammer will improve! 

Sooooooo. 

Starting with Tuesday.... Ummmm.... Yah nothing happened much at all. Just some more sitting around and studying. 

However I was really struggling that day with wanting to be a good missionary. I really want to be good super bad. Cause who wouldn't? But I was starting to get super anxious about not knowing how to be a good missionary. Like should I do it this way, or maybe this way. Should I spend my time calling people? Or talking to people... What do I do??? 

And so I started to get anxious about that, and so I listened to a talk by Hank Smith about goal setting and it got me feeling good and so I set some goals and went to bed. 

Also, I would recommend that everyone sets goals. Goal = good for the soul! So yah, do that. 

But then I woke up the next day and was like! Oh my. This is the last day! 

That's when we realized that we were basically just out of food... So we basically ate everything else that remained in the house. And we were just so pumped to get out! 

So fast forward, next day. 

We woke up and were like. "You know what? Let's go on a run!" 

So we stepped outside. Almost died from drowning. And went on a run! It was soooo much fun. Then we went to a Taiwanese breakfast shop. And let me tell you. Yall are missing out! These restaurants are some of the best in the world and it tasted sooooooo good to eat it again! Hopefully yall will one day get the chance to eat at a Taiwanese breakfast shop. 

We also got to talk with the people that worked there and I was like, 'Hey, my Chinese is still here!' And so that made me very happy. 

Then we went to the mission office and I met my new companion! His name is Elder Sun 孫. And he is one of the nicest people I've met! So after a lunch with President we made our way back to Muzha! That is my new area. 

We walk into the house and I'm like 'Of course' 

It was a mess. 

But luckily I know what to do when it comes to dirty apartments. So we gonna be cleaning today! 

Anyways it was good times and so I unpacked was like, 'dang I can't believe that I'm actually back out!' and then I started to get stressed. Like real bad. Just cause of stupid things I guess, not sure. 

But after getting unpacked I went and did some language study and right now I'm working on finishing the Book of Mormon in Chinese. And so I was reading 1 Nephi 7 and got to the part where Nephi gets tied up and I'm like, 'I feel like that' 

Then I got to the part where Nephi prays to be released and the bands loosen because of his faith. 

And it hit me so hard. Faith was the thing that I was going to have to rely on if I want to get through the next year while being happy. And so that day I went out and hit the streets full of faith and it was just a really good night and I was happy and it felt great. 

So yah. 

Faith is important. 

Then Friday. Blessed Friday. 

It was like two lovers reunited. Back together again. And the love still strong. 

I got my bike back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

I am very very very very happy about that. I've missed it a lot! 

Anyways. Life is just pretty normal and I'm happy with how I'm feeling! 

Sunday was soooo good. We have two hour church here which was really great. For those of you who don't know, Corona like doesn't exist here. There are like 0 restrictions. But we wear masks at church, and on the busses. That's literally it. So it's way nice! 

After church we met with our friend and we set a Baptismal date with him! He is such a cool guy and ready for baptism. He literally read the book of Jacob and understood it the first time he read through!!! It was so crazy. 

Then that night we met with another guy and he set a Baptismal date too! 

So Sunday was a great day! 

Now today is Monday and we woke up and talked with our families. Then we got a text from a member saying that she was at the hospital and wanted a blessing. 

So we bike over to this hospital and it's hot outside. Like normal. It's like walking into a sauna. Your body just gets wet. Like sweat just comes out of you. Everywhere. But I'm not actually hating it as much as I thought I would. I know that I'm gonna be wet regardless so why worry about it? And I'm going to shower anyways when I get home. So 118? Whatever. Drink water then. 

So we are biking to this hospital and we got there only to find out that someone else had already given her a blessing and that she was already in surgery and so we turned around. 

That's when the whole "Rain came down and the Floods came up" thing started to happen. 

It was pouring as only Taiwan does in a wet season. And we are 20 minutes from our house, on P-day. 

I've recorded some videos that will be down below so that will be fun! 

But it was sooooooooooo wet. Like wetter than taking a bath. Or jumping into the ocean. Or than anything. 

But we eventually made it home and we basically just screamed 'Called to Serve Him' the whole time cause that's what you do *shrug*

And I actually had so much fun! I couldn't see where I was biking and I may have almost died, but it was sooooo much fun. 

So then we got home and I showered after having showered before we left and after already taken my morning shower and I'm going to shower tonight so lot's of showering. 

But I was so happy in that rain, like it was the happiest I've been in a loooooong time. And for some reason God likes to take this thing I don't enjoy too much (Taiwans acidy rain) and he makes it happy for me. 

Ether 12:27

Weak things, Strong things. 

So yah! That was basically my week! Be sure to write to me and send me stuff and what not. 

Also how could I forget! It's our wonderful Hailee Hughes's Birthday! At least it was two days ago... But still! Happy Birthday! 

Anyways, hope yall had a great week! And I will see you next time! Until then, stay frosty! 

Love, 

Elder Baird

Something about socks:

Just go read Doctrine and Covenants 121. This brought me so much peace this week when I was feeling realllllly down. So maybe it can help someone else too! 

BREAKING NEWS:

There's a new way to hear all about Elder Baird time in Taiwan! No longer do you have to scroll back through all my emails during your daily "Have to read something that Elder Baird wrote" fix! 

Thanks to the hard work and countless hours of a mother who is too nice there is now a new way! 

https://elderspencerbaird.blogspot.com/

Click on the link above and you will be taken to an internet blogging platform that will have all my letters and pictures in one place! As well as added pictures and videos never before seen! So there you go! Invite all your friends as well! The more the merrier! 

If you'd like to support the blog please send all your love in the form of a package to the address listed on the blog! 

Finally someone in Taiwan is driving a good car

@mustangmost帥car

https://photos.app.goo.gl/KdbXjEXSFrMgSCuR9 

Here's some videos. Watch at your own risk.

WEEK 45 DAAN: The week that was longer that 7 days because it felt like an eternity and a half (but it was actually just 7 days)

*slow clap for original email title*

W.... E.... L.... L......... 

T..... h.... I..... s........... H....a.......s.........b....e........e....n........m.......y..........w......e...e...e...e...e..e...3..e..e.e.e.k

I'm not crazy you're crazy. Bats. Something about bats. 

So yah I have had one heck of a week. I've woken up almost every day. I've eaten almost every meal. And I've napped almost every day. 

So the life right? 

I would like to say though that my cooking is improving at a near exponential rate, and let me say that is a relief to both me and my companions.

Which speaking of my companions I really didn't talk about them last email. I just kinda soap boxed last email. But that's okay. Totally worth it. But Elder Broderick is my old MTC companion. Elder Dobbs went to the military academy in New York, and let's just say he's got me reaaaalllllyyyyy trunky for my military service. 

Like I'm super excited to get into the army. But he's just a great guy. He's very active as one is and that involves him basically hating quarantine with a passion. But you know it's okay. We've got a ukelele. So you already know we've been jamming. 

So.... Trying to think if anything else happened.... 

Yah I spend a lot of time sitting around. Listening to BYU speeches. Doing Chinese. Wasting absurd amounts of time playing duolingo.... But what is time anyway. 

As I was doing come follow me this week we were in Alma 32-35 and there's a lot of talk about humility in those chapters and so as I was doing some looking into humility I went to the gospel topics page and read about humility. And that took me to a video link. 

And basically I spent the next hour watching the 12 steps to addiction recovery videos on gospel library. They were soooooo good and sooooooo powerful and I soooooo recommend it. Like please go and watch them. You will cry. 

I cried for an hour. Straight. 

But they are way good. 

But they also wrecked me because then my eyes hurt for the rest of the day. 

Ummm.... What happened.... 

Yah apart from that and writing songs on the ukelele life is just moving along. 

I did find out that I will be moving to Muzha on Thursday! Which is like 10 minutes below where I live right now so I'm hyped about that!

I'm ready to get out of here. 

Yah, I really have nothing to say.

So I made some memes from old family photos I found while I've been bored. 

Alsoooooo, my friend Kara Taylor just got her mission call to Tokyo Japan and I'm super excited that she will be joining me in the islands across the sea!!! Love her!!! It's so exciting and congrats to her!!! 

Love you guys muchly! Be sure to email me! If you email me on your Sundays then I will be able to respond and we can talk on yall's Sundays and it will be fun! I love hearing from yall and it makes me way happy! So yah I like emails! And videos. So yah

Love yall! 

Elder Baird 

Something about socks

I have not been wearing socks 

BREAKING NEWS:

There's a new way to hear all about Elder Baird time in Taiwan! No longer do you have to scroll back through all my emails during your daily "Have to read something that Elder Baird wrote" fix! 

Thanks to the hard work and countless hours of a mother who is too nice there is now a new way! 

https://elderspencerbaird.blogspot.com/

Click on the link above and you will be taken to an internet blogging platform that will have all my letters and pictures in one place! As well as added pictures and videos never before seen! So there you go! Invite all your friends as well! The more the merrier! 

If you'd like to support the blog please send all your love in the form of a package to the address listed on the blog! 

WEEK 44 DAAN: Did you miss me?

Forewarning. This is looooooooong. And deeeeeeeep. I just feel like I should tell my story and I'm telling it all. So yah. I will include some tldrs so we all good! But you have been warned. 

Tl;dr

I'm Spencer. 

I'm in Taiwan

I'm in quarantine

I talk about my life story for the past three months

I am cooking food for everyone

There's a video at the end that's fun and explains life in quarantine. 

I love being back with Elder Broderick (from the MTC) 

And Elder Doobs is a beast! 

Love you

Don't let Lady Rona getcha

If you're making it to here.... 

Good luck. 

You know I'm back! Like I never left! (but I have left) Another sprint, another step (but not outside) Another day, another breath (in quarantine) been chasing dreams, but I never slept (I've slept a lot)

And that's enough with that song because I'd rather talk about me although thank you Macklemore for letting me use his music. Me and the Mack go way back yah know? 

Anyways!!! I AM BACK! I've speant along time deciding what to title this email, still not sure what I'm gonna end up going with, I'm sure you guys will know though. But here's my currents ideas. 

-third times the charm! 

-that week that was shorter than 7 days because it was 6

-did you miss me (cause Sherlocks da best) 

-I've learned that I don't want to be the mom of three teenage boys 

Or

-the email where we see if people love me cause it's gonna be long cause I have nothing to do.

The last one is a bit of a mouthful... But it does paint an accurate picture. So please send in which one you think will be the best and that will be our email subject line for this week!

So yah, let's talk about my life real quick. I know I've been pretty silent the past while, I think I only wrote one email during my mission and in that email I told everyone that I was going to Washington DC! I was super excited to go leaving August 17th and I was way happy about that. 

But that wasn't God's plan for me. 

A couple weeks later I get a call saying that I will be leaving to Taiwan on July 2nd.

Needless to say I was pretty confused. 

*but Spencer why weren't you excited?*

(side note it's abouta get deep and stuff I guess. You've been warned) 

Okay that's Elder Baird to you, and to be honest. I don't know. I guess I'd just been kind of thrown around like a rag doll. Riding the winds of the will of God, and they were rather turbulent. 

But I think that I just didn't know what was going on anymore and was in shock with everything. So yah, I was just kind of like... Well this is happening now.

But I just kept going on with life in Utah. I had gotten a job with my dad's cousin and I was really enjoying life. A lot actually.

And all my friends were getting ready to head back to college and I was like, hey that sounds kind of nice. I've already served right? Why do I need to go back? It was a great 7 months! Maybe that's enough? 

And I had this battle in myself for the whole 3 months I was home. And it just made me spiral. I stopped doing all those great habits that I had gained on my mission. And I started to take up bad habits that I had before my mission.

And that's when the depression kicked in. I was going against everything that I had worked to become as a missionary. I was failing as a person. Why would I want to go back. I didn't even feel worthy to go back.

I felt no excitement in going back out on a mission. I felt no fear. No nervousness. I felt nothing. I was empty.

So I pretended to be happy. I told everyone I was going back out. Told everyone that I wanted to be a missionary. Told everyone that this is what I wanted. But they were lies. I was just going through the motions. I was just going back cause that's what I was supposed to do. 

But I felt nothing. No feelings at all. I hated what I had become and felt like my mission, just a couple weeks prior, was years in the past. Everything that I had learned was gone. 

And it sucked. 

A lot. 

And I knew what I should do, 'turn to the Lord and stuff'. But I'd done that! I'd done that and what happened? When I was happy on my mission and finally felt like I could do this for the 2 years and felt okay, he took it all the way. I was thrown out of Taiwan and into the depression of home. I was mad. I had a right though? Right? I wanted to be out, I finally felt like I was doing good. And if God didn't want ME to be out then I would take it into MY hands and I just wanted to be done.

Me me me, mine mine mine. 

And so as I was stuck in the throws of depression and hating who I had become and being mad at God for the injustices that I felt. My parents helped me get into counseling. 

And that started to change things a little. I started to learn that I was stressed out. (how stupid do you have to be to not realize you are under stress? (apparently as stupid as me)) but we started working on how I could relieve stress in healthy ways and not in bad habits.

And things started to change. I started to study again. Started to do those things that I should be doing. But I wasn't feeling anything. Oh yah I was going on my mission and all, but I didn't want to. I had no desire or excitement! But I wanted it. I wanted to feel something, anything.

And so I finally got to the point where I was just on my knees feeling so lost. And just asking God for help and asking him why I hadn't gotten any. And then suddenly I felt like I needed to own what had happened. 

And so I did. I told God that I was going to go on this mission and that it was My decision! I owned it. I owned every mistake that I had made during my 3 months back home. I told God that I had made the choices, and that I was sorry for them. And I told him that I had made the choice to serve him. It wasn't cause I was supposed to do it. Or because my parents wanted me to or my mission president wanted me to. I was going to do it becuase I made the decision. 

And I felt a tiny bit of peace. Just a sliver. But enough to know it was right. And I hoped that things would change. 

And it took awhile. I mean like being home was fun and we did cool things and I got to hang out with my friends and that was great! But I felt really empty. 

And so I kind of just kept going. Wasn't going to DC anymore, fine I could roll with it. 

So that's when I got to the day of being set apart as a misisonary to head back to Taiwan. And I woke up nervous! I was so excited to feel something! So I got set apart and went to bed, fully expecting to go to Taiwan the next day.

And so of course in just the fashion of my life, I woke up to find out that I was in fact not going to Taiwan because they were requiring a negative Covid test. So my stake president called and released me. 

I was a missionary for about 12 hours! Go me! I think that's a record gonna be honest. 

So we scrambled to find me a testing site and then I got the back of my throat prodded through entry of the nose and loved that a lot. So good. Yum. Lol. 

So I was actually really happy though cause I got to watch Hamilton which was amazing! So actually a great blessing. 

Then the next we found out that Taiwan no longer required the Covid test and so I left on Monday! 

So I got set apart again as a missionary. So yes. I have been a missionary 3 times in one year. That's pretty neat. And I said goodbye to my parents and left on a jet plane. 

I landed in California and hooked up with the other missionaries there and that really was a great experience! I felt so much joy seeing them again!

And then this lady next to us started to talk to us and it was pretty cool because I got to share my testimony with her and a scripture and just talk to her about God. And I was like, "Hey! Maybe you can do this. This feels normal. This feels right. And so I was like, "Hey! I'm feeling happy about this! That's new, so I guess this is good!" 

And it was great. 

However it soon became clear that she was only talking to us because she liked white guys and now she wants to hook up in Taiwan sooooooo........ Yah. But I felt good sharing with her!

So I got on the plane. Took some sleep drugs. And passed out.

That's when I landed in Taiwan! I was back. I saw my mission president and that was awesome! And then we were quickly shuttled into a cab that took us into our house where I am now living.

So currently I am living with Elder Broderick and Elder Dobbs. Taiwan requires that we self isolate for 14 days upon country entrance. So we are stuck in the house for 14 days. Not only that but we are stuck in our rooms for 14 days. 

My room includes the kitchen which means that I am in charge of food, 3 meals a day. For 3 teenage boys. I cook it and deliver it to their doors. And then I do dishes. 

It's very hard. But I talk about this all in a video that I sent about my life in quarantine so be sure to check that out! 

So I got to my new house and started to unpack. About halfway through I just started to lose it. I got depressed and started to have an anxiety attack. I felt so lost and far from home and I didn't know what I was doing here. I just had left everything that I knew, again, to come back out to something so incredibly difficult. 

So I sat there and cried. For awhile. Just depressed out of my mind. Then I sat there and prayed. And that's when the first miracle happened. 

I had the prompting to read my old journal which I had brought. So I pulled it out, and in the same pocket was a birthday card from my cousin Lily. And I was so desperate for something that I just kind of ripped it open a little early. 

And in it I found such a great letter and it touched me so much and was just amazing! And at the end there was a scripture attached. Psalms 91:11

So I read the scripture. 

And my earth shattered. 

This was what I needed. Right then. Right in my moment of need God was there in the form of a birthday card that my AMAZING cousin had decided to write. She didn't have to do that. But through her God brought me a miracle and I am sooooooo grateful for her and what an example she is to me in following the spirit. 

And so the tears fell again. But this time in gratitude. My prayer had been answered. This scripture was everything. 

And so I went on with my day. 

Was I still sad? Yeah. Was I still anxious? Yep. But did I know God was with me? Yes I did. 

And so after making an amazing thing of spaghetti and meatballs I went to bed full of gratitude. 

Then I woke up to an anxiety attack at 3:30 the next morning. 

I managed to force myself back to sleep around 6, but by the time 7 came around I wasn't in the best mood. The depression was back. All the questions and fears were there again. I knew God was with me because of the miracle that had occoured yesterday but I felt alone again. 

And as I listened to conference talks Elder Anderson's talk from this most recent general conference played. It's the one about spiritually defining memories. And I thought to myself, yah I had one yesterday. And others. Better keep track of those. But like, I'd love another. But.... Ugh... 

And that's when miracle 2 happened. 

As part of Zone Conference prep we were to read the April 2018 talk Am I a Child of God? By Elder Brian K. Taylor. 

And I got three paragraphs through when I read this line 

"I invite each of us to open our hearts to the Holy Ghost, who “beareth witness with our spirit, that we are the children of God.”" 

And I lost it again. Tears everywhere. Again. 

Because at that exact moment the spirt told me that I was a child of God. And that's what I needed right then. I needed to understand my divine identity! I knew that God was with me right then. I knew he had been with me through those 3 hellish months at home. And I knew that he would be with me the rest of my mission. 

And so I just sat there crying thanking God and trying to understand what was happening. 

But I needed to know I was a son of God. And that he loved me and was watching out for me just like each of you! 

And that was just such an amazing miracle and was a spiritually defining memory. 

Which led me to day three. I knew that God was watching out and that he was my father. But I still didn't understand why I was out on my mission. And that brought with it..... You guessed it! A lot of anxiety. 

And that's when miracle 3 happened. 

So I was studying in the missionary standards when I stumbled across the idea that, "missions prepare us to be lifelong disciples of Christ" 

And I sat there and thought, is that really what I want? And then I sat there some more and thought, well yes, it is. But why? 

And then the spirit went ham and I just started writing and thought about how Jesus had paid for my life with his blood. My life wasn't my own. It had been bought by its creator. And I was just so grateful for that, and that's when I realized that I need to be on my mission because I am grateful for what God has done for me and that my life is his because of that. And I could fight that if I wanted, but without him I am nothing. But with him I can become even like he is. 

And so I found my purpose. Gratitude. Such a seemingly small thing but so incredibly important! 

But it was there. And I realized that I would have hard days and I might still be uncertain and have depressive moments and anxious thoughts. But I was here for God. 

And so yah. 3 crazy miracles in 3 less than crazy days. But each one led to the other in preparing me for what I want to be a great last year of my mission! 

Sadly, day 4 didn't bring anything that big  but I made curry! 

Anyways I know this was long and I don't really apologize for that because I write these emails mostly for myself cause I'm selfish like that. 

But God loves you. I know it. Cause I know he loves me too. 

I hope yall are having a great week and yah this email was a lil different, but that's okay! 

Love you all! 

Elder Baird 

(this whole thing was a something about socks anyways) 

Here's the videos

This first

https://photos.app.goo.gl/7UmR9u78dFzwNsM16

This second

https://photos.app.goo.gl/9NEj19jL1HXo5pLr5