I want to go home.
I love it here.
Two years is so far away.
Wow. Today was cool.
I don't enjoy crying. Wish I would stop.
There are so many miracles all around.
I don't know what's going on. Wish things were normal again.
Wow! I just had a whole conversation in Chinese.
I miss my family.
There's so many cool people here.
10 weeks till a new companion.
God loves him so much. And wow he can teach so well.
That's kinda been my week...
I've thought a lot about this email the past two days... What was I going to say. Was it all going to be sunshine and rainbows? Would I even send an email. Would I just glance over things? And as I've thought about it I've realized that I can't share the miracles if I don't share why they happened.
So, this week has been good I guess. But in all honesty it's easily been the hardest week of my life.
Those thoughts above are true. 2 years feels so far away. I'm sad. And I want to go home. Yesterday was especially hard. I woke up and was already done with day. I felt hopeless and depressed. I would just start tearing up at random times.
Satan is working overtime with me right now. He knows that if he can discourage me now then he will win. And so I'm fighting him off as best as I can. But in all honesty. I'm not winning.
But luckily for me. I've already won.
And by that I mean Jesus already won. In the Garden of Gethsemane Jesus beat Satan for me. He beat him for me so that right now I can push through these trails. And by the power of God and the saving grace of the atonement of Jesus Christ, I have seen miracles help me through this.
So I don't really like the rain. And Saturday night it started to rain. I had no jacket. And we were far from home. I was soon completely soaked. And then all of the sudden I was just happy! I was just happy that I was biking in the rain with no jacket completely soaked. Just straight up happy. And I needed that. In the moment I was like, hey this is a great miracle to end a kinda hard day on.
What I did not know was that I was going to need that memory to help me just make it through the next day.
So as I said, I woke up just done. Already sad. Ready to just cry myself back to sleep. I really did not know why I was feeling this way. But I got up and went to church. First miracle were the songs. They were able to just give me strength, but that didn't change that I was still sad. Just helped me keep going.
So we kept going through church and then we had a lesson with a recent convert after church. This was the first time I had met him. And at the end of the lesson he said the closing prayer. And in the prayer he prayed that I would be strengthened. That I would be able to learn the language. And that I would have faith to keep going.
He had known me for an entire 20 minutes.
Miracle
Next we got to give a priesthood blessing to a lady in our word. And I got to anoint the oil in Chinese. This was the first time I had been a part of a blessing. And the power behind that was amazing. And definitely gave me strength.
Miracle.
Then I got home and told my companion that I needed a "nap" and cried silently in my bed for 10 minutes just pleading for help.
Then came out and somehow ended up talking to my companion about it. And I broke down. And we talked and it was good. It helped a lot.
Miracle.
We then ended up giving each other priesthood blessing. And I was quite nervous to give one. This was the first one I had ever given. But as I put my hands on his head I was just filled with what to say. And as I opened my mouth the words just came out. I didn't really even thing about what I was saying.
Now I've always been told that when you are in tune with the spirit that the words would just come. And to be honest I never believed that.
But I've been close to the spirit the past couple days. I've had to have been or else I would have fallen into oblivion. And so I have been.
And so when the words came, they came. They were beautiful and they were what God was wanting to say to his child. And I just felt Gods love come from me, out my hands, onto his head, and into his soul.
Miracle
And then I got a blessing. And the love that I felt from God was amazing. I knew he was lifting me up, and would keep lifting me up for the rest of my life if I let him.
Miracle
We then went out that night and in 2.5 hours talked to 11 people. This was amazing for our companionship because talking to people has been one of our weak points. And it just felt so good to be out there doing the work. And I was happy.
Miracle
But... Trails don't just disappeare. I went to bed with a very full heart of gratitude. Slept well.
But I woke up sad.
And that happens sometimes.
But this is life.
And it is a wonderful journey.
It is sad. It is hard.
And only through Christ alone can we make it back home, back to Dad, safely.
Look for the miracles in life. I've had to challenge myself to do that.
Today I got to talk to my parents.
Miracle
Today I got to watch one of my best way friends open her mission call.
Miracle
(Btw congrats Tayda! Go get them Texans good!)
It's P-day and I get to clean.
Miracle
Pretty soon here I'll get to go out for the day and preach the gospel. Sometimes I'm not excited to do that. Today I am.
Miracle.
Even though these past 2 weeks have been the hardest of my life. I know in who I have trusted.
2 Nephi 4:19-20
19 And when I desire to rejoice, my heart groaneth because of my sins; nevertheless, I know in whom I have trusted.
20 My God hath been my support; he hath led me through mine afflictions in the wilderness; and he hath preserved me upon the waters of the great deep.
This chapter is me. And quite frequently it is all of us. So, I invite you all to read it. Once I finish this email I will read it again too.
So often we forget what actually makes us happy in life. So often we wander. Not knowing which way to go. So often we are sad. So often we are caught off guard by the tremendous power that the adversary wields. And too often the things we rely on faulter. Too often they give out.
But not God. Never God. He will never no never. Never no never. He will never, no never, never us forsake.
So where do we put our trust? How do we more fully trust God? Because allthough all the powers of hell may against us combine, God is mighty unto saving. We just need to rely on him.
He has saved me these past couple days. And I will never not rely on him.
Along with reading the 4th chapter of 2 Nephi. I invite everyone to listen to the 7th verse of how firm a foundation. That's what we need. All of us. Me included.
I invite all to come unto Christ. For I am a disciple of the one true and living God. I am His missionary. This is not my mission. This is his blessing. And as such I will be lifted up by him and carried through my trials. And as you, YOU, trust in him, and put him first, you will be lifted too.
This is MY testimony. And the testimony of God's son, Jesus Christ, that all who come unto him and believe in HIS holy name, will be saved. Will be lifted up. Will be comforted. And will be blessed.
The days will be hard. That is for sure. But who have you trusted? Where do you lean to? God or the arm of flesh?
"As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord"
I testify that his name is holy, and in his name we can be saved. And in his sacred name, I say this, in the name, of Jesus Christ! Amen.
Something about socks
Well, here I am repenting... I missed SabS last week... Sorry....
So yah, that was a lot to write and read I'm sure. I don't think it was that great of an email and probably didn't make a lot of sense. Maybe I'll read it again sometime. But I really just needed to write my thoughts down and put them somewhere with an audience. So thanks!
Anyways, that was rough, let's talk about something better!
So the new white handbook is out, and now it's blue! And guess what! No where in the handbook does it say socks must be dark and conservative!
So who knows, I may be braking out the old rainbows again ;)
Anyways funny story time.
We were teaching a kid how to pray and he was like so I say this thing in the beginning to start and this at the end? And we were like yep! And then in the middle you say whatever you want. And since we're in a group you say those things out loud.
So he proceeded to say, Our father in heaven,
And then is silent.
And then more silence.
And then more more silence.
And then more.
And I'm like oh no, he doesn't know what to say. And I'm like kinda freaking out.
And then all the sudden he's like in the name of Jesus Christ amen.
And I almost lost it. I was so confused.
Turns out he thought we meant that you only say the beginning and end out loud. And then the stuff in the middle he said in his head.
So that was weird.
He then texted us an hour later saying he just wanted to make friends and didn't want to talk to us. Then blocked us. So yay! It was actually pretty funny.
As well the pictures will show my accident that happened in the bathroom...
You've been warned.
I love you all! Go watch the new Light the World Video! It's good! And do light the world!
Love,
Elder Baird
6 elder in district council trying to sing angels we have heard on high without music.
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